The Paradox of Success
Written by: Roberta Vommaro
Why High-Achievers can also Struggle with Money
Let’s talk about the paradoxical pattern of high-achievers who resist… money! Or praise, or upgrades, or a break, or a paid leave. It’s all the same and all rooted in the addiction to do more, accomplish more, and to measure our worth by how “productive” we are.
The addiction “to accomplish more”
As high-achievers, we often find ourselves in a tricky position when it comes to money. On one hand, we strive for financial success, but on the other hand, success can be, well, boring. It's that feeling of "what's next?" that can cause us to resist the very success we worked so hard to achieve. It's a problem that I call "second act problems" and it requires a mastermind plan to overcome.
But before we get to solutions, let’s talk about WHY this happens. High-achievers are not high-achievers by random choice or coincidence. Nope. This pattern likely started in childhood, from being the best in class, the valedictorian class leader, the accomplished athlete, or the “most likely to …” in school. But we also wanted to dare, to be the first. So we might have become the trailblazers and leaders in what we do - albeit playing safe because there was always a lot at stake. You see, these patterns are also rooted in insecurity: “What will happen to me - or my career, my scholarship, my reputation - if I simply slack or take a break?” “What if people see that I’m not working as hard as they think?” Deeply seated in the heart of these accomplishments is a sense of lack of self-esteem, lack of deserving. This can lead to a self-sabotaging cycle where we work hard to achieve financial success, but then resist the rewards when they come.
Breaking the curse
1.Your self-worth is NOT your net-worth
High-achievers often tie their self-worth to productivity. We feel like we need to do more and be more productive in order to feel successful and worthy. This constant need to do more can lead to burnout and a lack of fulfillment. It's important to remember that our worth is not tied to our productivity, and that it's okay to take breaks and prioritize self-care.
2. Failing upwards
Another common struggle is the fear of failure. Many of us have a fear of failing or not succeeding in our endeavors, and this fear can hold us back from taking risks and pursuing our goals. But failure is a natural part of the process, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way. In fact, the most successful people on the planet have experienced failure before achieving their goals.
3. There is plenty for everyone
Many high-achievers have a scarcity mindset when it comes to money, because for years we have been led to believe that there is only so much to go around. This mindset leads to feelings of competition and jealousy, and can prevent us from being open to receiving abundance. Money, however, is a renewable resource, and we can reprogram our beliefs to recognize that there is more than enough to go around for everyone.
4. The grass is NOT greener on the other side
Comparison to others is a sneaky little habit likely stemming from our school years (when we were told we needed to be “the best of the best”). It’s a habit so ingrained that we might not even notice that we continue to do it, leading to feelings of inadequacy or jealousy. This can ultimately lead us to focus on accumulating wealth for the sake of outdoing others rather than for our own personal fulfillment. When we approach money from a competitive mindset, we lose sight of our own values and purpose, leading to a disconnection from authentic prosperity.
5. Money is not evil
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that money is the root of all evil and that those who have it are greedy or corrupt. This belief can lead to a fear of being judged or criticized by others for pursuing financial success. We may feel that we will be seen as selfish or materialistic if we prioritize our financial goals. This fear of judgment can prevent us from taking risks or pursuing opportunities that could lead to financial abundance.
With these struggles in mind, it's important to remember that we have the power to change our mindset and beliefs around money.
This is about shifting our focus from simply "doing more" to doing what truly aligns with our purpose and values. By tapping into our unique talents and passions, we can begin to attract abundance into our lives in an authentic and fulfilling way.
As writer Florence Scovel Shinn once said, "The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds, and words return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy." By choosing empowering thoughts and actions, we can create and accept abundance and prosperity into our lives.
So let's break free from the addiction to do more and measure our worth by our productivity. Let's recognize and release the limiting beliefs that are holding us back and embrace a new narrative of abundance and fulfillment! The power is (and has always been) in our hands.
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